He is breaking your heart. He was such a sweet kid, quiet and introverted, but always happy to do his own thing. The divorce hit him so hard and he was devastated when he had to move so far away from what friends he had. He never took to the city where you grew up like you hoped he would. In the new apartment he grew sullen and distant.Then once his dad stopped calling regularly like he promised he would and planned visits started falling through he just became angry. He can barely bring himself to talk to you anymore. His grades have plummeted. He takes no joy from any of the things he once loved and some of the kids he has started to hang out with scare the hell out of you. You don’t know what to do anymore. You used to be able to talk to him but now it is as though he blames everything that is wrong with his life on you.You feel as though his youth is slipping away and you are beginning to dread the young man he might grow into. Maybe it’s time to consider sending him away for some kind of intervention.It is never easy to be separated from our kids, especially when it’s under difficult circumstances. We all want the best for our children from the day of their birth. It’s hard to accept that we cannot always provide what it is they so desperately need. And, yes, terrifying when we see them in peril that we’re unable to avert. It’s essential not to lose sight of what’s ultimately best for them. Blindly hoping for change that you see no evidence of is sometimes a dangerous course of inaction. Know that the regrets in parenting that linger longest are the regrets over the things we didn’t do rather than the things we did for the best of intentions.
We all try to surround ourselves with peers, that is certainly not unique to troubled teenagers. Troubles may arise though when the only common ground for a peer group is anger and dysfunction as we have a tendency to adopt the troubles of our peers. Occasionally a group of troubled teens who are acting out can find themselves considering things which not one of them would consider on their own. This is frequently why sending a teenager away for counselling or treatment is so crucial.While every program and facility is slightly different most of them are geared towards helping with depression and teens with anger issues. Many will also address attention deficit disorders, anxiety, substance abuse and a host of other problems which require professional intervention.While these types of intervention programs are certainly not cheap they aren’t prohibitively expensive either. You are covering, of course, not only the room and board for you child but also for the extensive expertise of the counsellors, therapists, educators and staff of the facility or program.If you’re truly concerned about the road down which your teen seems determined to travel maybe what’s most needed is a change of scenery. Sometimes a teen who is afforded the chance to step outside of his or her scenario can gain the perspective needed to get back on track.